Tomorrow will be my first mother's day. If you would have told me last year that I would have had a little one this year, I would have told you that you were crazy. For years, I heard nothing but "you'll probably have trouble conceiving so know that it won't be easy." So, imagine our surprise when we found out I was pregnant! It was sooner than expected, but God knew what he was doing. As we approach this day to celebrate mothers and I sit watching my sleeping Molly, I have begun to reflect on parenthood.
Over the past few weeks, my emotions have been on a total rollercoaster. Just three weeks ago, I was struggling with early labor, making useless trips to labor and delivery, and anxiously awaiting of the arrival of our little girl. I wondered what she would look like, what she would be like, and what it would be like to finally hold her in my arms. Those thoughts have been replaced over the past few weeks with thoughts of when will Molly sleep, when will she eat, and how I am going to be able to do all this. I am overwhelmed with a new kind of love for not only Molly, but Tim as well. Seeing him as a father is amazing. I loved him before, but it is a totally different level of love now. I am also overwhelmed with all the responsibility for shaping this precious little one's life and view of the world. It is a responsibility not to be taken lightly and I am so blessed to have a husband who takes his role as father just as seriously as I take my role as mother. The past few days and nights have been difficult because Molly seems to think that day is for sleeping and night is for playing, but even though I am going on very little sleep, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
I don't know how I would have survived without my mom (and step-dad of course) through these past few weeks. Whether it was being there with me in labor and delivery, watching Molly when I just needed some time or sleep, bringing food, or just listening when I am emotional in the middle of the night, she has always been right there and willing to jump in wherever and whenever needed. she never complained about being woken up in the middle of the night when I had a question, never hesitated when I asked for help, and always offered her words of advice without being pushy or judgmental. I had always heard that you never understand and appreciate your mother fully until you have a child of your own and now I totally agree. I only hope that Molly and I can have the type of relationship mom and I have. I wouldn't want it any other way. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!!
